Updated: Sep 12
So, another year, another Father's Day. At first, I thought: it's just another day, like every other day - it has a day, month, and year... don't overthink it! I dismissed it as you do with any typical, normal day. But it isn't just an ordinary, regular day. It's a day that I used to be excited for, a day where I'd make a card, sign our names, and hide a little gift somewhere for him.
I miss it. I really do.
At work, it randomly dawned on me that this day was approaching. I was editing my contacts, as you do (random... I know), and I saw my dad's number in my 'favourites' section along with all my other favourites (you know who you are... Or at least I hope!), and it dawned on me... This feeling of emptiness. I thought of past laughs, smiles, chats on the phone, just 'past' dad being here, and the fact that he is not here. And will never be again.
Over the past 3 years, there have been about 10,000 things I've wanted to say to him, whether it be something big or small, something I was proud of or something embarrassing like me tripping on a staircase in front of fifty people (it happens more than I wish it would). If only there was a way to reach him, a phone line connecting to the sky or wherever he is.
It's sad that a day that was once filled with such joy and love, a day that was just so 'full', is now empty. But that day is still his day, no matter how 'full' it is, the way a phone is still a phone even when on 1% battery (we've all been there).
This Father's Day, I will be thinking of my dad. I will remember who he was, and that was a great father indeed. I hope you will too. Don't let the fact of him not being here stop you from thinking about him if you want to, what matters is he was here, and that has made all the difference.