Dancing at the Pity Party – a grief companion that 'gets it'



‘And just like that, I became someone who had seen death…’

Loss marks you. It becomes the lapel pin on your coat, the introductory sticker on your shirt, a badge that is irremovable. It is constant, fixed, and indestructible like that hefty obstacle of furniture you want to expel from your room in pursuit of a home makeover. But then you realise… you are no Marie Kondo. Just as we are not Netflix-worthy super organisers, it is impossible to remove the loss you experienced from your life.


In her ‘dead mom graphic memoir’, Feder invites you in under her blankets of warm pastel-toned illustrations and a comfortable and familiar tone of writing. Dreary and depressing is the antithesis of this grief book – Feder skilfully employs humour whilst adhering to reality. This book becomes your grief bible with its child-parent nostalgia, and it's dishing out of the all too relatable qualms and struggles of grief.


I stumbled across this book in a warmly lit bookshop, its glowing warm light peering at me through the glass amidst a stormy day in Soho, London. And Gosh! I am glad I did. (See what I did there! It’s the name of the store.)


I found myself smiling, laughing, tearing up, and nodding along to Feder’s every word. Not only is this a handbook for grievers, but Feder does what I want to do in my life… She keeps her mother alive through her candid words and dazzling illustrations, and (heart-warmingly) it feels as though I got to know a fragment of the amazing mother Feder describes her to be.


If you find yourself in need of a refreshing read, a colourful and relatable friend, someone who just gets it: look no further than Dancing at the Pity Party where Feder embraces that badge, that lapel pin, that sticker – and makes you feel more at ease with wearing it, and not so eager to ignore it or give up on it.



Find Tyler Feder here

Buy the book at Waterstones

Buy the book at Amazon


Also: check out this amazing resource shared by one of Grief Girl's followers, Emilia

The Effects Death, Traumas and Disasters Have on Mental Health




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