Losing in Lockdown: Hailey's Story

Guest post written by Hailey Wright

Sometimes I don’t know where to begin with my story of death and grief. At the start of 2020, I never thought that I would be in this position.

It all started in February 2020 when my Nan got taken ill and was admitted to hospital, she had gone into complete kidney failure and we were told to get to the hospital ASAP to say our goodbyes. Which of course we did. However she didn’t die, it was amazing. She seemed to get stronger and stronger. She got better. Which was incredible.

Then it was my grandad's turn, he then got taken into hospital 3 days after my Nan. But again he was fine.

Then April came around, my grandad got taken back into hospital (my Nan was still in hospital at this point) on Friday 17th April we got told to go to the hospital to say goodbye as he had Covid 19 and had limited hours left. So we did. To be told they had given us the wrong patient information, he wasn’t dying after all. Because he was on a Covid positive ward I decided not to go and see him, as we thought he was ok. Sunday 19th April comes around my Nans birthday. We get a phone call to say my grandad had passed away. We were only allowed 10 people at his funeral.

My Nan struggled without her husband of nearly 60 years, on 19th August, she got taken back into hospital and died on 21st august. If this all wasn’t awful to deal with during a pandemic and Lockdown my Dad was in hospital as his cancer had come back and he was being assessed for a liver transplant. On 22nd August we had to go to the hospital in London where he was, we were told that he cancer has spread and he wasn’t eligible for a transplant and that it was going to be palliative care, hearing that it was like my world had fallen apart. I went numb, I couldn’t talk. This is when the panic and anxiety attacks began.

We were expecting a couple of months with him. However, he fell over and hit his head whilst in hospital, which caused a bleed on the brain. He came home on Saturday 29th August. We went to the river on the Monday, when home he deteriorated quickly. He went into a coma on the Monday night/Tuesday morning and he died on Wednesday 2nd September. I was heartbroken. I just didn’t know how to comprehend in the space of 4 months 3 of the dearest people to me had died.

About Hailey

Hailey is 31 years in old, and a deputy manager of a day nursery. She started her grief Instagram because she wanted to help others! "I'm very open about how I’m feeling/struggling as I think grief should be spoken about more and normalised."


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