My Story

Updated: Jun 9, 2020

How I Lost My Dad...

Regardless of how old you are, losing a parent is always extremely difficult and you can never really prepare for how painful it will be. I lost my dad in June 2018, and sometimes I still cannot even fathom that it even happened.

The strange thing about such a monumental event in your life like that is that certain moments from that time remain so clear in your mind, that it is almost like you are reliving that moment whenever you think about it.

My father had health issues for a while before he passed away, but about two years before he passed, things got worse: he wasn't completely himself, and he often felt unwell and tired. Then, a few months before he passed he increasingly got worse, and simple things that we take for granted, like going to the shops, became a massive challenge for him. As a result, he took many trips to A&E when the pain became unbearable, yet they still kept on sending him home- without a diagnosis. After many trips to the hospital, he was finally admitted and they started to run tests on him to diagnose his illness.

It was the beginning of summer, and the days started to become longer and sunnier. He had ended up staying in the hospital for about three weeks, and I remember my mum driving my brother and I to the hospital whenever we could: after school, on the weekends... However, as my father had been in the hospital for some operations in the past, being there didn't seem as big of a deal, or difficult as it usually is for other people- so I, also being in denial, didn't think that anything was seriously wrong.

Furthermore, my brother was taking his A-Levels at the time, therefore, selflessly, my dad didn't tell us the diagnosis until the day he had finished his last exam. My brother had persevered resiliently through his exams, despite everything that was happening, and then came the day of his last exam.

We picked him up from school, and took our last drive to the hospital, to see my dad. Then, what happened after that remains so clear in my mind... I remember his exact words. I just couldn't believe that he only had a few days left to live. It was like a train had come out of nowhere, and had hit me. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer. After he was taken home by an ambulance and we drove back separately. I remember that drive. I remember just crying uncontrollable tears the whole way home, and I remember just being so shocked and dazed. The next few days all merged into one, and although that period felt slightly long- it went so fast. After six days, he had passed away with all of us around him. I will never forget that moment.

Losing someone so close to you is undoubtedly extremely tough, but sharing your story can really help you accept and process what has happened. If you'd like to share your story, post it to your story on Instagram and tag me in @thegriefgirlonline and add the hashtag #mygriefstory - I'd love to see your grief stories.



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